30 For 30

30 for 30: My new commitment to health, following the Tone It Up plan. Losing my unhealthy extra 30 pounds - of weight and bad habits. 1 lb for every year of my life. 

I used to be fit.  I used to be able to eat a whole pizza and not gain a pound.  I could run up the stairs without being winded. I actually liked clothes shopping.  But then something happened.  I stopped being active.  I didn’t correct my eating habits to counteract my low activity.  I fell into a rut 8 years ago that slowly got deeper, and that I still haven’t dug myself out of.  I’ve climbed the sides a bit, but I have always slid back down.  I’ve reached the deepest (a.k.a. the unhealthiest) I have ever been.   And now I am 30. 

Is 30 that big a deal? In every other area of my life, no.  I don’t feel any different socially, I don’t feel any pressures, I barely had a “HOLY S**T I’M TURNING 30!” moment. But it is a big deal when it comes to my health.  I am 30 and I am 30 pounds overweight.  I am 30 and I can’t run upstairs without feeling a little winded.  I am 30 and still eating like I am in college.  I am 30 and I am not healthy.  And that needs to change.

I think the reason I have been unsuccessful in the past, even after joining Tone It Up and all its wonderfulness, is because I was focusing on the wrong things.  I wasn’t REALY listening to Karena & Katrina. I was focusing on how I looked instead of how I felt.  I was seeing other followers tweeting and Instagramming their successes – seeing stick figures become more stick figurey (in my frustration, that is what I saw, I am not trying to skinny-shame, I promise).   There were quite a few who went from my size to a healthy size, but for some reason I couldn’t see that.  So I told myself I was ok with the extra weight and not being super active – I'm not obese or diabetic, don’t have heart problems or other major health problems, so having that extra donut, or eating out almost every meal, it was all fine.

But it isn’t fine. I envision for myself an adulthood that includes adventurous vacations, and a retirement that is actually filled with “golden years” – very active and fulfilling.  But how can I have that adventurous adulthood over the next two decades, or that active retirement in 25-35 years, if I continue this unhealthy lifestyle now? From here on out it will only be harder to create a healthy lifestyle habit. So I need to start now.  I need to commit myself to be healthy. I need to take the focus off the scale and focus on the health benefits I achieve.  It is not about weight loss, but health gain.

I didn’t follow the #LoveYourBody series like I should have. But I did FINALLY start listening to K&K and the #TIUTeam.  It can’t JUST be about weight loss.  I need to love my body – and show that love by taking care of it.  I need to focus on HEALTH GAIN:  being able to keep up with my boyfriend’s kids, doing basic tasks without getting winded, clearing my skin, keeping my blood pressure down, reducing the risk of heart disease – just being all-around healthy.  And that starts with attainable goals and realistic changes.

In the past, when I have had success following the Tone It Up nutrition plan and workouts, I always ended up in a back slide.  Because I was setting goals for myself that are just not attainable and attempting changes to my lifestyle that weren’t realistic.  I would stick to the plan so steadfastly that I was denying myself the little pleasures that I truly enjoy.  So I always eventually backslid because it was “just too much”.  Didn’t matter that I was seeing amazing results weight wise – I wanted a damn slice of pizza or a brownie. A real brownie, not an admittedly-tasty-but-still-not-real-because-it’s-made-of-vegetables brownie. So I would binge one day. And slowly those things became constants in my diet again instead of occasional treats. And the weight crept back on. 

I have to realize my limits.  I will never be a vegan, or follow strict Paleo, or anything like that. I am an eater.  I love food. A lot.  Fancy cheese, decadent desserts, anything spicy. Comfort food, exotic food, fancy food – I am an eater.  So I need to become a BETTER eater.  But not deny myself completely or I will definitely backslide again. I think this begins with becoming a better PLANNER.  So much of when I eat poorly occurs when I don’t have a plan and take the lazy way out.  If I take some time each week to plan and prepare (like Karena and Katrina are always saying to do), then I know I can make better choices.  Plan on Friday, shop on Saturday, prepare on Sunday.  Limit myself to eating out once a week.  Limit my “treats” – greasy pizza, real brownies, bread after 3pm – to once a week. Finding healthy substitutes that work for me when I get cravings. 

I also need to become active again.  I tried to be a runner.  Turns out, I am definitely NOT a runner. Trying to force myself to become one is going to get me nowhere, so I am giving that up.  I can do short distances, and I probably will.  But I get bored, my form gets bad, my knee and shoulder start hurting, and boom – I have an excuse to not go to the gym for a few days because I injured myself running.  It’s just not a good system.  I need to recognize that every little bit helps – being outside for a walk is better than sitting on the couch watching a Friends rerun for the gazillionth time.  I need to do things that I enjoy so that I will look forward to exercise instead of dreading it. 

Most importantly I have to accept that this is going to be a process.  I am not going to be able to make these changes overnight.  I cannot make one slip and fall all the way backwards. I am not going to see results the day I make these changes.  I need to recognize feeling better IS a result and not look only to the scale and mirror to qualify progress.  I need to accept that it is going to be hard, and slow.  And remind myself that it will eventually get easier, until I don’t even have to think about it.  And eventually I will see that results and not just feel them.  I have to not get discouraged, because if I do I will never get healthy.  So, to embrace my age and begin a new healthy lifestyle, I am going to lose 30 lbs for each of my 30 years. But each actual pound will relate to an unhealthy habit. A bad habit gone or a good habit gained with each pound lost. Putting the focus on the health and not the scale. So I can have many, many healthy years to come.